


Regrets Always Come at the End

by kaichocosoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/M, Light Angst, Vampires, fem!baekhyun, fem!d.o., fem!luhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-22 16:32:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaichocosoo/pseuds/kaichocosoo
Summary: [Self-Prompt] Jongin agreed in an arrangement that has put his feelings on the line. He decides to move on, for the best. Or was it?





	Regrets Always Come at the End

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not new to writing genderbend fics but this was the first time that I have stumbled upon Nabisonyeo. Where was I hiding all along? LMAO. And so I’m really excited to join this round. I hope that you will enjoy this fic that has been sitting in my head for quite some time already. :)

It was already late when Jongin has trudged inside his home, formerly his grandparents’ but was already under his name when they passed away. The studio has been getting more popular as the summer break approaches. They needed to open up five additional classes per week to accommodate everyone.

They could’ve easily crammed fifty students in one session but there will no apt attention that will be given to each of them. If there is something that Jongin and his colleagues want to work on is that to teach not only the technicalities of dance but as well as to love it.

Everything becomes better if it is done out of love.

“You’re home, sexy.”

And then there she is. Do Kyungsoo is the only aspect in his life that makes him question his life’s principles.

She appeared out of nowhere, like she always does, and plopped herself down on the dance teacher, straddling him. At least that day, she is wearing something and has saved Jongin from an unnecessary heart attack. But then, for all the months that they have known each other, Jongin has grown used to her no-nonsense and straight-to-the-point actions.

He was already so used to having her press against him, Jongin feeling all her curves, and then she will lean down to give him a searing kiss.

Kim Jongin wouldn’t be able to take a rest yet, so it seems.

Jongin welcomed her advances and matched them with fervor as his body responded eagerly with Kyungsoo’s touches. This is also something old, Kyungsoo is a naturally sexual person - _creature_ \- and Jongin was simply reacting how his very own carnal desire dictated.

Hot, bothered and aroused, overloading his nerves with delicious stimulation in the form of the thinly dressed vampire he’s making out with.

“I really love it when you just came from the studio,” she murmured against his lips. “Your body hasn’t cooled down enough, your warm blood smells extra delicious.”

To prove her point, Kyungsoo dipped down to repeatedly lick along the column of Jongin’s neck. The veins under the membrane almost pulsing from how fast Jongin’s heart is beating and pumping his precious blood all over his body.

Maybe quite a lot towards his groin and that has her growling lowly in impatience.

The vampire ground down her hips to get her message across. A smirk curled on her lips as Jongin’s cock revealed itself through the layers of fabric separating their skins, pushing against his skin tight jeans.

In a blink, Kyungsoo’s flimsy nightgown was tossed somewhere in the living room and warm, familiar hands are feeling her up from her face, down to her breasts, hips and then the swell of her ass.

Their lips closed in another lip lock that turned sloppy every time Jongin’s hands find Kyungsoo’s pleasure spots.

As her ass got the attention that she has grown quite addicted to, she was forced on a kneeling position, her thighs trapping Jongin’s. She was just at the perfect height for him to close onto her nipples and play with them with his mouth.

Jongin has always loved the feel of any part of Kyungsoo on his mouth ever since he has gotten over the fact that the vampire is serious with their bargain: Jongin agreeing to quench Kyungsoo’s thirst for blood and for sex.

What he got in return was unlimited access to the vampire.

_All of her._

A win-win situation because as much as Kyungsoo was always horny, Jongin has always fantasized about his hot neighbor across the street that he later on found out wasn’t just a simple smoking hot lady but with a much more _deadlier_ secret..

The dancer looked through his lashes to indulge in Kyungsoo’s pleasured state. She has always been stunning, anywhere and anytime. But when she is in Jongin’s arms, head thrown back and making such wonderful sounds because of him, she is in her most gorgeous form.

A slightly cold hand snaked between them and grabbed his throbbing arousal, gave it a few languid strokes and then led right into Kyungsoo’s dripping core.

Jongin briefly wonders how Kyungsoo remained to feel the same way as if it was the first time and they haven’t been fucking all over his house almost everyday. His attention was soon only focused on the beauty right in front of him as she started to work herself open on his cock.

One of the perks of having vampire sex is that vampires have unparalleled stamina. Meaning Jongin could watch Kyungsoo ride him all day and non-stop, or he can pound into her heat in endless rounds. That is if he could keep up with her, which is impossible in reality.

His hands reached for her bouncing mounds to keep them virtually in place. Jongin grunted as he adjusted himself a bit, lifting his back off the sofa so he could bring even more pleasure for the vampire.

A few more bounces and a deep thrust from Jongin, has the both of them tipping off the cliff of pleasure and holding each other as they waited for the after-effect to wear off.

“You and your amazing dick,” Kyungsoo siged, looping her arms around his neck. She brought her face closer to where she usually bites on the human with no intention of doing so.

Jongin smells exceptional, says the vampire for the nth time. Of course, Jongin couldn’t know for himself but there is no reason for him to not believe Kyungsoo. She has struck a deal with him, didn’t she?

_Yeah, she is only in for the deal. Nothing more, nothing less._

Moments passed and they stayed slumped on Jongin’s sofa, one of the witnesses to their daily _activities_. Good thing Jongin doesn’t really invite people over his house.

They settled into a lulling silence, the dancer starting to feel the strains on his muscles. He instinctively nuzzled on Kyungsoo’s floral-smelling hair, thanking her silently for not drinking from him that night. He might not be able to come to the studio the following day if the vampire decides that she is hungry.

Kyungsoo shifted a little bit so she could wrap her arms around him and keep her face buried onto Jongin’s collarbones, littering them with light kisses and occasional licks. Times like this has the human thinking that there is something more between them, something more than just him being a blood bag and them being fuck buddies. Kyungsoo fits nicely with him, he observed.

“You’re tired, hmm?” she mumbled on his neck before leaning back to face Jongin properly. She propped her hands over his chest.

Jongin hummed in affirmative. “The additional classes are no joke, Soo.”

“But you love what you do,” she states with conviction. Jongin smiles a little. Kyungsoo seems to be learning things about him other than anything related to his body.

“I’ve been dancing all my life and seeing cute little kids trying their best in classes…” he trailed off, switching his gaze to the ceiling instead of keeping eye contact with the vampire. Kyungsoo’s glowing light blue irises are too much for him at the moment. They have been sharp, fitting for the predator that Kyungsoo is but they are also piercing, right into the depths of Jongin that he himself doesn’t know.

Kyungsoo has said once that she can’t read minds, unlike what other folklore tells about them. But still, Jongin has always been told that he wears his heart on his sleeves but this time, he wished he doesn’t, that he will never.

Being in love with a vampire is a sure way for a heartache.

Their relationship has started because of their physical _needs_. What happens when Kyungsoo finds someone with a much more appealing blood than Jongin’s? What happens when Jongin grows out of his young body and fail on keeping his end of their bargain? Even if he knows that Kyungsoo has a good heart, Jongin will still age while Kyungsoo stays in her youthful beauty for far more lifetimes that he could comprehend.

“You really like children.”

And that. The fact that Jongin _loves_ kids and he would really want to have his very own in the future. Vampires can’t bear children and even though Jongin knows that his feelings for Kyungsoo runs deeper than what should be, he wasn’t sure if he could simply forego his dream of having his very own family.

“They are noisy and could be quite a handful but yeah… I adore them.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything back but she took her previous position as she pulled down Jongin’s face to start another deep kiss. Jongin complied to dispel his misplaced thoughts. Kyungsoo and her body, that is a territory that he is familiar with and could thread through even with his eyes closed.

So Jongin chose the easier way out.

 

 

The dancer has woke up to one of the common ways he does, with Kyungsoo draped over him and kissing down his body until her lips wrap around his cock. The vampire has long discovered how deep a sleeper Jongin is and has devised a number of ways to wake him up. Unsurprisingly, almost all of them somehow involves sex or anything sexual.

His breakfast was then served on his bed. His toast has already gone cold but he took whatever he could. The loud growl coming from his stomach reminded him that he has forgotten to eat dinner yet again. He was quite distracted and much too exhausted after he and Kyungsoo have been fully sated after two rounds of a great bed romp.

Jongin came to the studio with a content smile, reminiscent of a good start of his day. He passed by Irene, one of his co-mentors, and gave her a cheerful greeting. The lady only shook her head at him, already given up prying information about Jongin’s _secret girlfriend_. He entered his classroom and placed his bag near the sound system to start some stretching.

Two minutes into his warm up, a knock took him out of his concentration. Yixing, his boss and dear friend, came in with his dimpled smile and happy aura. He waved a white envelope that easily flushed the good mood out of Jongin’s system.

“Don’t give me that face, Kim,” Yixing snorted. “Are you having cold feet?”

Jongin gingerly reached for the piece of thick paper that holds his future. Inside the envelope is his new opportunity, his next chapter, his bigger chance, his last shot and his escape. It wouldn’t be hard to guess the contents of the sheets of paper inside, judging from the grin that his boss has been sporting. He holds a good news, depending on how it would be looked at.

Yixing left him on his own for some space after a congratulatory pat on his shoulder. Those familiar three taps that he receives when his boss hears of his student’s parents’ praises or when Jongin has led his class of little kids to a successful recital. There is no more doubt as to what the envelope contains.

Indeed, the papers inside the white envelope is informing Jongin of his spot in the National Dance Institute as a full scholar. He has been granted the 2-year Masters track for Dance Education, free lodging in the institute’s dorms as well as appropriate allowances. There is even a note that says that he is free to take on part-time jobs with the assurance that it will not affect his studies in any way.

Jongin is to report to the campus in a week and his academic year would start in two months. All Jongin had to do is inform his parents, wherever they were travelling at the moment, then his sisters, who are both living overseas with their own families. Then there is the packing up and looking for a caretaker for the house that his grandparents have left for him.

He put the acceptance letter back into the envelope and slid it inside one of his desk drawers. He would start stressing about everything after his shift.

 

 

A text message told Jongin that he will be getting a good dinner that night. Kyungsoo always does that whenever Jongin misses dinner because of her, or at least, she is part of the reason why Jongin failed to take his night meal. The day had been tiring as it usually was but he was able to get off just in time to come home to a steaming hot beef stew.

Jongin thinks that it is weird for a vampire to know how to cook when they don’t have a need to. Kyungsoo rolled her eyes at him when he brought it up and informed him that she wasn’t a lazy ass back in the days when she was still human. When most vampires forget about their human lives altogether, Kyungsoo has brought with her memories of the recipes that she has learned. Jongin isn’t really complaining. Why would he when he especially gets to eat those sumptuous meals that Kyungsoo cooks?

He let himself in; Kyungsoo has never bothered to lock her doors. The aroma of the beef had him drooling and the sight of Kyungsoo in a thin, silk bathrobe is even more delightful. One would think that after the seven months of their relationship, Jongin’s excitement over seeing Kyungsoo in lingerie would wear off but that wasn’t the case.

Maybe the factor of being in love with her plays a major role.

Out of habit, he approached her from behind and gave her a back hug. He was left alone for a few more minutes until Kyungsoo turned the stove off and spun inside the circle of his arms to face him. There wasn’t a drop of sweat marring her beautiful face and she looks shining from the large grin she has on her lips. Kyungsoo looks so happy to see Jongin and the flames of hope inside the dancer’s heart are getting stoked.

“Hey baby,” Kyungsoo called, wrapping her own arms around Jongin. The look she gives the latter was too much for his heart to handle so he dips down for a kiss to distract himself. There is an immediate response from the vampire, her lips welcoming him eagerly. He had half a mind to move them away from the stove and press Kyungsoo towards the edge of the bar. He pushed his hands up to where the solid surface might dig on her back to break the contact.

They continued to kiss, slow, passionate and sweet until Kyungsoo pulled back giggling.

“I didn’t cook for you just to leave it forgotten,” she tutted. “I’m sorry I took you away from dinner again last night,” Kyungsoo gave Jongin one last peck before stepping back and fixing her askewed robe and hair. “You look like you need to eat more,” she adds while reaching to touch the bags under Jongin’s eyes. “I’m sorry for keeping you up too.”

 _This_ , all of this would be part of what Jongin will be leaving behind. Kyungsoo is a big part of his current life chapter that will remain there as he turns a new page. _This_ part of his decision pained him physically, mentally and emotionally but he has already decided that this is the best course for him and his feelings. The pain will eventually go away and he might be completely heal once he meets someone who he could love and would love him back.

Someone who Jongin would be sure to stay with him for when he turns old and wrinkly.

But he will indulge himself while he could. Jongin will make the most of the remaining time that he has with Kyungsoo. He will pour over all the love that he has been keeping to himself until he is sure that there will only be the inevitable residue that will remain to make the breaking away easier.

He feels a lump lodge itself inside his throat. He wouldn’t be breaking up with Kyungsoo but it has started to feel like he will be. There was nothing to break except the constant physical satisfaction and the occasional domesticity and that should be nothing. They were mere little details for Kyungsoo and as much as Jongin hated to admit, they are what his world has revolved in for seven months.

Seven months on loop and would probably run for a few more years if he wouldn’t put a stop to it.

He’d rather do the leaving part than play the role of the one who was left behind.

“I’ll forgive you on two conditions.”

Kyungsoo rolled her eyes playfully and played along like every other time they are in the same situation. “And what are they?”

“You will join me and you will let me thank you properly later.”

The vampire’s eyes shone blue as her luscious lips turned up to a smirk. “No problem, baby.”

Jongin was turned into one hungry beast once more, ready to devour and be devoured by his sweetest nightmare.

 

 

It is supposed to be a movie night, one of the _normal_ things that Jongin and Kyungsoo get to enjoy with their clothes on, but Jongin had a different idea. His plan has completely backfired. Instead of slowly depleting all his craving and longing for Kyungsoo, everything has exponentially increased and turned him even more addicted than how he was before.

The Trolls were singing happily and Kyungsoo was happily singing along when he decided that he wants Kyungsoo’s voice to be singing a different melody, singing to a different song that he’s the one to orchestrate. They were both lying on their side, Kyungsoo’s back is pressed against his chest by his arm wrapped tight around the vampire. His other arm that Kyungsoo uses as her pillow slid back just enough for Jongin’s hand to turn her head towards him.

Their lips pressed to a kiss by instinct. The kiss was supposed to be the short pecks that they share just because but Jongin chased the vampire’s cherry flavored lips for more.

“Nini?” Kyungsoo must be feeling confused since Jongin was the one who wanted the movie night yet he was the one who has started to drift from the night’s agenda. Still, the vampire humored him and rolled over to face the human, keeping the distance between their lips to a bare minimum. She wasn’t even doing anything deliberate to rile Jongin up but he could already feel the burn of arousal singeing his nerves.

Jongin might’ve dug his own grave.

“I just need you…” he whispered against their lips. “...so bad, Soo.”

An understanding smile bloomed in Kyungsoo’s lips then she’s on top of him, laying comfortably while looking at him with amusement. Her light blue irises are twinkling, forever mesmerizing Jongin into bliss. He knows that he will never see a more beautiful view than seeing Kyungsoo like this, relaxed, content and happy.

“You are awfully needy lately, Nini,” she notes with obvious teasing. “Don’t get me wrong but I feel like it’s your cum that’s sustaining me this days instead of your blood,” she jokes lightheartedly. “And I always feel the need to pick myself up everytime because you’re fucking my brains out _every. single. time_. Know that I’m loving it, anyway.”

It didn’t do Jongin’s desire a favor as it flared up some more, knowing that Kyungsoo survives because of him and the pleasure that he gives her. How would Jongin release himself from this prison that he has built for himself.

“What do you say to a one more time, love?”

Kyungsoo’s only reply was throwing her beige turtleneck sweater over her shoulder, leaving her in a black lacy bra and lust clouding her gorgeous eyes.

 

 

A week more to go and Jongin really needs to start packing. He doesn’t want to risk leaving behind anything and go back just because of it. He wouldn’t know what he will do if he sees Kyungsoo after leaving. He might blow his scholarship and just stay put.

If he has proved anything from the past two months, it is how deeply in love he is with Kyungsoo. The thought of not seeing him for a day was enough to render him useless for the whole day. He has tried to slip in some Kyungsoo-free days but those were all failures, with him calling Kyungsoo over or him going over the vampire’s place.

“Nini,” Kyungsoo called from his right. He has grown used to her sudden appearance that he barely flinches when the vampire caught him off guard. He turned to her and caught her weight as she skipped into his arms. Jongin felt a piece of his heart break. “I need to go.”

“What?!” Jongin exclaimed in disbelief. After all the stress he has gone through, Kyungsoo will eventually be the one to leave him?

He felt a knock on his head. “Silly. I’m not leaving _leaving_. I’m just going to visit some old friends for a fortnight. I will be back.”

 _But I won’t_. Mixed emotions plagued the dancer. Kyungsoo being away would mean that she won’t be there when it is Jongin’s turn to leave. It will be easier with no one to say goodbye to. Yet, he felt his heart drop because he won’t manage a proper goodbye.

Kyungsoo deserves one for she was nothing short of good to Jongin during the time that they have known each other. She could’ve easily killed him when she feeds off him but Jongin is still alive and kicking. She has cooked him meals that are worthy of VIPs and she has put up with his carnal needs without as much as bat of an eyelash.

“I will miss you,” he managed to croak out. Kyungsoo chuckled in mirth.

“It will just be a short two weeks, Jongin. I will be back before you know it.”

Without really meaning to, Jongin pulled her into his arms, holding her down in a tight embrace. “I will really, really miss you.”

As usual, a pair of slender arms reciprocated the hug. “Stop it. You’re making it sound like we will not see each other for a long time.”

 _More like never_. “I’m just telling the truth.”

Kyungsoo pulled back a little bit. “When have I ever lied to you, NIni?”

Guilt closed up Jongin’s throat. It is true. Kyungsoo has never lied to him. Kyungsoo told him whenever she doesn’t like something. She tells him when she wants his blood. She tells him when she’s horny and she needs him. She tells him if she leaves and when she will comeback.

And yet there Jongin is, keeping the biggest secret that will shift his life majorly. Jongin hasn’t even clued the vampire in that she would have to look for another blood bag and someone else to warm her bed and body. He hasn’t told her that she needs to replace Jongin in her existence.

Cowardice won over Jongin as he pulled the vampire into a heated kiss. _This is it_ , this would be the last time that he will be able to make love with his greatest love.

“Thank goodness I booked a later flight,” Kyungsoo panted when her lips was freed. Jongin chose not to comment and continued to make his marks along the column of Kyungsoo’s neck. They managed to fall onto the bed without much effort and keeping their lips locked, evidence of experience.

Kyungsoo pulled Jongin back up to her lips so he busied himself into ridding the vampire of her clothes. The first to go was the plain button down that suspiciously looked like the shirt that he has brought a couple of months ago. He ran his hands along the expanse of silky smooth skin and relished in the moans that his touch elicits from the vampire.

Kyungsoo’s hands were working his tee off as well. They broke the kiss for a second to get the offending garment off and away then he dove back down to continue where he left off. He felt the vampire chuckle at his haste but pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Their bottoms were quick to follow the growing pile of discarded clothes, leaving their underwear as their last cover.

The dancer didn’t want to wait any longer and proceeded to worship every inch of Kyungsoo’s skin with his lips. He rained soft kisses on her forehead, cheeks, nose and chin before he came back to claim the bee-stung lips that he has been abusing. Kyungsoo simply accepts him and has let him take the lead. She was busy feeling the sensations that Jongin gives her and Jongin wouldn’t want it any other way.

His kisses travelled down her neck where he left even more possessive marks that had Kyungsoo’s back arching off the bed, especially the spot on her right collarbone. It was where she was bitten when she was Turned and Jongin likes to see her squirm with every stroke of his tongue over the barely visible scar.

When he reached the swell of her breasts, Jongin took his time to taste them under his tongue. He had his hands trapping Kyungsoo’s against the mattress and solely used his mouth to pleasure her. The vampire is extra sensitive in her breasts and nipples so Jongin makes sure that he gives them ample attention every chance he gets.

He licked his way into the cup until he reached her nipple. Kyungsoo has long turned into an incoherent and a moaning mess from his ministrations. Her grip in his hands are tightening with each stroke he manages on the sensitive bud. He then turned to the other and used his teeth to pull the cup down and expose the perked nipple. Her hiss turned into a grunt of Jongin’s name as he closed in to suck.

He paid no mind to Kyungsoo’s pleas for him to stop, knowing that Kyungsoo doesn’t really mean them and the only warning that he got of her cumming was a long high-pitched moan from the vampire.

Pleased with himself, he climbed back up to Kyungsoo’s lips, swallowing her post-orgasm pants. He has used her distraction to work on getting her panties off and can’t help a moan from himself when he felt how _excited_ Kyungsoo is for him. He jerked when he felt a touch on his own throbbing arousal but still kept up with the kiss. He would want to get as much as he could, enough to be imprinted in his memory.

“Jongin, please,” Kyungsoo begged. “Please fuck me.”

 _I’ll make love to you,_ Jongin silently promised as he nodded. He let Kyungsoo push his boxers down and gripped him firmly, followed by shallow pumping on his member. His own hand explored her wet lips, prodded down a familiar path until he has her bucking on his hands. It took all of his willpower to ignore his own pleasure and focus on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo only when her hands are eager to please as well.

The vampire has enough of the teasing as she pulled Jongin on top of her and leaned for a light bite on his shoulder, enough to get a message across but not enough to pierce through skin. Their gazes locked when Jongin shifted to lean his weight on his knees. _That_ look, the look that is full of emotions that has always rattled Jongin in back, disarming his will and succumbing into Kyungsoo once more.

His instincts drove him from then on, only seeking to bring pleasure for Kyungsoo, having her eyes rolling from the intensity of the sensations, make her go crazy with his hands and lips and push her off the precipice of mind numbing passion. The way Kyungsoo’s lips parted as she called out his name had Jongin following her in a spiral of ecstasy.

They basked in the aftermath of another (and their last, Jongin brooded) lust-driven union. Kyungsoo had her arms around Jongin, pulling the human’s weight down on her. He had to remind himself that the vampire is a lot more durable than she looks and melted into her. No one could stop him from making sure that he misses no detail about the love of his life just yet.

“Don’t miss me too much,” she mumbled teasingly on Jongin’s neck. His chest tightened at the words and his eyes started to burn. With the little strength left in his limbs, he rolled them over, switching their positions. When Kyungsoo was about to peek up at him, he held her nape down and dropped a kiss on top of her head. He will miss the scent of flowers that always follows Kyungsoo. He will miss all of her.

“I won’t. I promise.”

That was just one of the promises that he was sure he will break.

 

 

**2 and a half years later…**

 

Everything was hectic but Jongin still had a smile on his lips. His students were milling about the studio and gathering their things after the bell rang a few minutes ago. They have just finished another unit and will be preparing for their semestral evaluation in the coming weeks. One by one, they bid him goodbye until he was the only one left.

He felt accomplished. Having graduated just a few months back wouldn’t have made finding a job easy and yet, there he was. A sense of fulfillment filled him, pushing his smile a little wider. Jongin was easily on his way towards his dream. He would be able to touch and inspire more lives with dancing.

He turned to prepare for leaving as well when a familiar knock pattern came from his studio’s doors. Oh Sehun, his classmate back in Grad school and now a colleague has stuck his head inside the room like a kid. Once he spotted his co-mentor, he skipped and twirled his way to the other and stopped a few feet from him.

“Baek wants to celebrate for having a bit more free time for us,” Sehun started. It wasn’t like Jongin would have any choice but the other continued, “We’ll be eating at that chicken restaurant that you like and then we’ll go for the drinks.”

No point in arguing, Jongin knew. He slung his gym bag over his shoulder and turned to Sehun with an unamused expression. “Who will be joining us?”

The moment Sehun blushed, Jongin already knew. He snickered at his friend and headed towards the exit. “We better go. I don’t want to start the night hearing Baekhyun’s nagging.”

 

 

He had expected this. A shit-faced Baekhyun and a tipsy Luhan were weighing him and Sehun down as they marched down the street. Hailing a cab will just cost them unnecessary expense when the two ladies’ shared apartment was just two turns away from the bar. Jongin had the worse task of lugging Baekhyun on his back as the vocal coach decided to belt Chandelier right by his ear.

Even if he was the first one Luhan has approached when she started to feel sleepy, Sehun smoothly swooped in and carried the her bridal style.

It was the dead of the night and Baekhyun was obnoxiously trying to wake up the whole neighborhood with her wailing. She might still be sounding good but she was too _loud_. Jongin hastened his pace to get his friend duties over with until he stumbled into what felt like a wall. He has started to fall back and he panicked for he will surely squish the singing woman on his way down.

Everything happened too fast. He has landed painfully on his ass before he could even turn and push Baekhyun out of the way. Horrified at what could’ve happened to his piggy-back passenger, he got on his hands and knees and spun around.

Two pairs of long legs greeted him. He stiffened. He was sure that he hadn’t seen anyone apart from him and Sehun down the street. The people were either asleep or still drowning themselves in the bar that they just came from.

Fear dominated his senses and his flight instincts were screaming at him but he was stock still. He has never regretted drinking until then. What if they were unmerciful muggers? He worried over their lady companions. But what if they are worse?

A blur of something blew past Jongin and another pair of long legs appeared in front of him. They seem familiar and upon looking up instinctively, he confirmed that it was Sehun. But when was he able to move that fast?

“Spare them. They are under the protection of this city’s coven,” Sehun drawled out. “Please take your leave.”

 _Coven_. Jongin gasped. Repressed memories rushed back to him in a tsunami wave of pain. The last time that he had heard such word was years back, back to the time that he wanted to forget. Confusion came next as to why Sehun was talking about covens with the strangers. How does Sehun even know of a coven?

“You’re Warded,” one of the strangers, Jongin deduced, has spoken. “We would actually like to speak with your leader. We require your help.”

“Help on what?” Sehun asked.

“We have a half-blood with us.”

Jongin saw how the statement from the other stranger affected Sehun. He froze for a moment before he disappeared and came back in a blink, holding onto the collar of Jongin’s button down and pulling him up. His level sight raised and his brain slowly registered what he was seeing.

One of the strangers has Baekhyun cradled in his arms, perfectly safe. The two newcomers were both taller than Jongin. One of them has a striking silver hair and the other is blonde, his hair looking gold under the moonlight.

And as if to affirm his suspicion, their eyes were laced with blue. They have eyes just like Kyungsoo’s.

“Just let me bring them home and I’ll escort you to our leader,” Sehun requested after he hoisted Luhan back into his arms. “I’ll meet you…”

“No,” the blonde objected. His eyes were boring into Jongin for some reason. He has never felt this unnerved in the presence of a vampire. But who is he to talk when his only reference of vampire interaction is Kyungsoo?

 _Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo_ her name repeatedly echoed inside his head as his restraints over his memories of her were loosened.

“It will be safer if you bring them with us. The fuckers are looking into all humans with vampire interaction. If they are under your protection, let them have it,” the blonde carried on without batting an eyelash. He was yet to take his eyes off of Jongin and it was starting to spook the dancer. The silver-haired vampire nudged the other by his shoulder, murmuring something low and unintelligible for a mere human like Jongin.

Then it was Sehun’s turn to look at him as if he did something to offend him. “What?” he challenged with annoyance.

His friend shook his head and started walking. “Just follow me.”

 

 

Sehun has mentioned before that he was living with a rich relative. Jongin just wasn’t expecting him to be living in a grand mansion, just a few inches short from being a small castle. It was located right at the outskirts of the city and had taken almost an hour drive from the bar. The beauty of the house was enough to distract him momentarily from the eerie silence in the pick-up truck that the silver-haired guy was driving.

The blonde guy had given Jongin a break when he pulled out his phone as he settled in the shotgun seat. He was whispering all throughout what seemed to be a phone call but returned into glaring at him thru the rearview mirror.

Thankfully, Baekhyun and Luhan both had fallen asleep and it was easier to transport them from the truck to the mansion. A handsome guy in his dark blue pajamas welcomed them by the foyer.

Jongin already had an inkling as to how Sehun was connected with the vampires but he didn’t want to dwell on that just yet. His trust issues were secondary to what the two vampires have discussed at the street before.

Something about a half-blood.

“Apologies for coming without prior notice, Junmyeon,” silver-haired guy greeted the guy in pajamas.

Said Junmyeon shook his head with a polite smile. “No matter. I was actually expecting you to come but not quite this soon.”

The blonde stepped forward and shook hands with Junmyeon. “I’m Yifan and this is my right-hand man, Chanyeol. I don’t know how much you know about what has been happening but we will be needing your help.”

“Very well,” Junmyeon nodded. “Sehun, please bring our guests into the guest rooms then come back down and join us.”

Jongin had no choice but to follow behind Sehun while the two vampires and Junmyeon walked towards a hallway to the right. Baekhyun was perched on his back and yipping from time to time, an odd sleeping habit of hers.

Luhan was peacefully slumbering and Sehun put her down on one side of a king-sized bed. He gestured to Jongin silently to do the same for Baekhyun on the free space. They slowly pulled back the comforter and laid it over their friends. Jongin somewhat envied them. They were shut out from the world while Jongin has to deal with an unwelcome recollection of his past and a possible lie from the person he has trusted the most since he moved.

Sehun wordlessly led him out of the room and into the adjacent one. He was contemplating something, Jongin knew from the deep frown that he was sporting. Returning the silence, Jongin stepped into the opened room and zeroed in on another king-sized bed.

Maybe if he sleeps this through, he will wake up and all of it has just been a dream. The pain that was simmering right inside his chest may disappear into tolerable residues that he could forget in a few hours. He made himself at home and jumped right on the straightened sheets, face down.

“I’ll go now. Get some rest, man.”

_That’s for the best, I guess._

 

 

No one came to wake Jongin up that he slept the whole morning and half of the afternoon of the following day. His head felt heavy when he came about, evidence of his oversleeping. When he realized that he wasn’t sleeping on his own room,he got up and did a little exploration of the room he was in.

The en suite bathroom was a great bonus and he gladly made use of it. Right after freshening up, he spied a pile of clothes that were laid just below the towel rack. A familiar hoodie was on top, giving Jongin an odd reassurance that he wouldn’t be dying any time soon.

Sehun’s fabric conditioner flooded his nose as he slipped in the hoodie. He reached for the pants and made a mental note of treating his friend to a cup of bubble tea when he saw an unopened pack of underwear.

The night came back slowly as he showered but surprisingly, he was handling it better than what he had expected of himself. He had just met two vampires and suspected that he has been friends with one all along.

And Kyungsoo. His mental vision of her was still as clear as if he had seen her yesterday. It had been one of the reasons why he took a break from dating and has come back to haunt him for another reason.

Jongin has never imagined that he would find himself in the middle of vampire affairs for the second time in his whole life. He stepped out of the bathroom and swiped his phone off the bedside table. He would need Sehun to tell him things sooner rather than later.

Good thing that the layout of the mansion was straightforward. He was able to figure out how to get to the stairs he remembered climbing last night without any help. His feet led him to the direction that the vampires and Junmyeon has disappeared into and he was led into a spacious living room.

“Good afternoon, sleepy head,” Baekhyun acknowledged his arrival from the sofa she’s at. Luhan was sitting beside her quietly but looked up to give Jongin a brief smile.

Across them sat whom he recognized as Sehun from the ebony hair. Yifan and Chanyeol were nowhere in sight so he betted it’s safe to join his friends. When he got a glimpse of Sehun’s face, he knew that shit has already hit the fan.

_Better to get on with it._

“So you’re a vampire,” Jongin started, regarding Sehun completely. From his peripheral, Baekhyun and Luhan subtly pressed against each other in visible caution. If Jongin was in their shoes, he would’ve reacted the same way.

Sehun turned to him with an unfathomable expression but nodded in reply. It was then that he saw the tell-tale blue irises looking back at him. Jongin not being able to see it before may have something to do about Sehun being Warded, as he was referred to last night.

“Yes, I’m Warded so I could mingle with humans without any complication,” the vampire answered his thoughts. Before Jongin could ask, Sehun has already explained, “Jongin, I can read your questions off your face. Someone with two fully functional eyes would.”

“Uhm,” Baekhyun cut-in, her right hand raised as if waiting to be called. “Why aren’t you freaking out, Kim Jongin?”

That day could be the day that he would spill his deepest secrets to his new found friends. He sagged to the backrest of the sofa, feeling all drained from the feeling of defeat. He wouldn’t be able to run away from vampires, so it seems.

“I’ve already known of vampires before I came here. I’ve known about them.”

Sehun agreed. “I actually thought he was one of us when he first came here. He smelled strongly of a vampire,” even though Jongin didn’t see, he could feel the inquiring gaze coming from the vampire. He knew that Sehun knew what that implied but if he wouldn’t bring it up, why would Jongin?

Baekhyun relaxed a bit but circled an arm around Luhan. Jongin felt for her. Sehun’s efforts were clearly reciprocated and this revelation must’ve affected Luhan the most. He could somehow relate to the feeling. He had moped around what the difference between him and Kyungsoo could entail for the both of them.

Though Luhan was on the luckier side for her feelings were returned. She and Sehun would be able to work it out if she could find it in herself to see that the Sehun she knew is still Sehun, just with the add-on of being an occasional blood drinker.

“So what are we doing here, Sehun?” Baekhyun asked. “We already have Jongin here so spill it.”

Sehun cringed a bit from the adamant demand coming from Baekhyun. For all the years that they had been friends since Grad school, the two men had known that Baekhyun is a force to be reckoned with. She wouldn’t take something that doesn’t sit well for her by… sitting down. Her determined eyes were all on the vampire who turned to Jongin for help.

He shrugged. There wasn’t much he could do when he wants what Baekhyun does as much as he does.

“Fine, I will tell you but don’t come at me when they won’t make sense because seeing it from a mortal’s perspective will make it sound crazy but it isn’t,” Sehun warned, turning all serious. “An organization obsessed with our existence have amassed a search party for a half human and half vampire who was just almost two years old.”

The ladies’ interest were sparked when they heard of the baby and it might’ve what have spurred Sehun to continue. Jongin knew that the other felt relief when Luhan showed a reaction to him.

“The baby had a vampire father and a human mother?” Baekhyun chirped.

Jongin got far too much information when Luhan blushed and Sehun cleared his throat before answering. “That happens almost always and that wouldn’t have caused this uproar,” he clarified. “But this time, the child has a vampire mother and a human father.”

“Wait. Female vampires wouldn’t be able to give birth, right? Their bodies are unchanging,” Jongin argued. He might’ve given himself away from divulging such information when Baekhyun gave him a smirk.

The vampire looked at Jongin with imploring eyes. “You’re correct but you might’ve also missed the fact that when a human is Turned, they retain their body and will forever freeze in that state. So if the female vampire has given birth before…”

“...Her body could adjust to the pregnancy,” Jongin added as an afterthought.

“So what are they planning to do to the baby?” Luhan voiced out. Sehun was all too eager to respond.

“They were going to take both the baby and the mother for _examination_.”

Jongin grimaced at how awful that sounded. Vampires have co-existed peacefully with them for decades and this will get disrupted just because of morbid curiosity?

“Okay, so why are we here?” Baekhyun crossed her arms. “We aren’t vampires who have given birth so I don’t think we will be targets. Unless…” the wheels inside her head were turning. When realization hit Baekhyun, she pointed at Jongin accusingly, “Is Jongin the father and we’re looped in because of association?”

Jongin paled. _It couldn’t be…_

Sehun shook his head. “I just don’t want to risk you going outside without being Cloaked. We don’t know how aggressive those people are and you might get captured because of your association with _me_.”

They were then ushered to the kitchen by Junmyeon, who was dressed casually. Jongin and Baekhyun complied right away in return for the graciousness of their host. Luhan and Sehun had fallen behind, talking in hushed tones.

Jongin glanced back once and he saw Sehun reaching for Luhan’s hand. She didn’t pull away and that’s what matters. He smiled at himself, despite the nagging feeling woken inside him from Baekhyun’s words.

As if remembering Kyungsoo wasn’t enough, he had to be given the mental image of the possibility of having a family with her.

_If only…_

 

 

After Junmyeon and Sehun have given the three humans enchanted charm bracelets, they were allowed to leave. They were assured that they would still be looked out for, courtesy of Sehun. Jongin noticed that he had not seen a shadow of the two vampires that he has met when Baekhyun has asked him what had happened when she was drunk.

Maybe they have just suspected him like Baekhyun did and when they realized he wouldn’t have been involved in their crisis, they left him alone.

Life went on for Jongin. He came to class and helped his students with their preparation for the evaluation. He used his free time to work on his own choreography to get his mind off from too much thinking about the first vampire that he has met. It got bad when he almost dialled his phone just to ask if Yixing had heard something about the lady living right across his old house.

Sehun and Luhan have mended whatever relationship they have and had gotten even clingier. Sehun never lets Luhan out of his sight Luhan was always seen riding with Sehun after their classes. Baekhyun, on the other hand, have glued her phone to her person. The vocal coach never lets go of the device and was always on it whenever she gets a notification.

There was nothing alarming and it has given him and Sehun some peace since she stopped calling them for night outs. She might’ve finally gotten herself a boyfriend that she could bother relentlessly.

So why is he seeing the trio of his friends laughing as they headed towards Sehun’s car? Feeling a little bit betrayed, he jogged towards his supposed friends and confront them. Baekhyun saw him first and waved him over like they weren’t guilty of anything.

“You all go and be happy with your love lives and forget about me?” Jongin huffed and glared at the three. “So this is how we end?”

Baekhyun rolled her eyes. “Quit the drama, Kim. It doesn’t suit you,” she stuck her tongue out childishly. “We’re going to Sehun’s place and we didn’t tell you because we figured you’ll be busy and we don’t want you fifth wheeling us.”

Jongin felt like being petty so he stood his ground with a pout. “Two years of friendship will reduce to _this_ just because I’m single?”

“Oh, Jongin, shut up,” Luhan stepped in. “Baek and I will be babysitting in Sehun’s. Why would you want to come?”

“Uhm, because I like kids?” He reasoned. “And for your information, I have babysitting background with my niece before the moved out,” Jongin boasted smugly.

“Just get in, Jongin,” Sehun gestured towards his car. “But I should warn you that the baby we’re talking about is the half-blood. We don’t know how he will react to a human male around.”

“What could a baby do to me, Sehun?”

The vampire shrugged and went around to get into the driver’s seat. Luhan followed and rode shotgun. That left Baekhyun and Jongin to the back seats. The former looked very excited for a babysitting and when Jongin knew why, he understood.

Baekhyun showed him a photo of Jongsoo, the half human, half vampire that Sehun and his coven have sheltered.

Jongin tried to ignore the skip in his heartbeat when he saw the little boy. His eyes were a bit rounded, his cheeks bulged up as he beamed and his smile. The baby has a smile that awfully resembles Kyungsoo’s a lot.

“You know, Jongin,” Baekhyun spoke. “The first time that I saw Jongsoo, I thought about you.”

The dancer chuckled nervously. Baekhyun’s words weren’t helping him and his running imagination. “What made you say that?”

“I don’t know a lot of tan people and seeing Jongsoo made me remember you. And the first syllable of your names are the same,” Baekhyun replied, oblivious to the cold sweat that started to dot her friends face. “Are you sure you’re not his father?” she added jokingly.

“I have no reason to be,” Jongin defended. “Unless you tell me that his mother’s name is Kyungsoo.”

He didn’t mean for her name to come out. Jongin has been trying his best to bury Kyungsoo and his memories of her in the deep recesses of his mind but it’s too much, especially that his heart has been overpowering his mind over the matter.

Baekhyun’s jaw dropped.

“Why, Jongin. You might actually be Jongsoo’s father,” Luhan giggled. “His mother’s Kyungsoo, alright.”

 

 

The car ride was tense. Baekhyun kept quiet while fumbling with her phone and Luhan was humming softly with the low music that Sehun was playing on his radio. Jongin chanced a glance towards the vampire and everytime, they have caught each other’s gazes. He could tell that their driver has a lot of things that he would want to say.

At some point, Baekhyun and Luhan chose to nap all the way to Sehun’s mansion, which left Jongin with his thoughts.

If it was indeed _his_ Kyungsoo, did he just pull an asshole act and left her and his son? Will she even allow him near their son? Is Jongsoo even his?

A single tear fell down his cheeks. He was quick to wipe it away before anyone could notice. Considering the timing, Jongsoo was born almost two years ago. It was around Jongin’s sixth month in the academy. If vampire pregnancy is the same as human’s, Jongsoo was conceived around three months before he left.

During those times, he was still very much together with Kyungsoo.

Unless Kyungsoo had conceived for less than six months, Jongsoo is definitely his.

Anger and frustration slowly built up inside of him. He didn’t know and he never would’ve known about the potential family that he has left behind if it weren’t for the danger that they were facing. The possibility of having stayed in the dark forever was so high and he has no one to blame but himself.

He could’ve lost the most important people in his life just because he was a lame coward.

As the mansion loomed over the horizon, Jongin thought of ways to present himself to Kyungsoo, after abrupt cutting of communication between them the last words that he had given her was the measly note that he has stuck on his fridge. He was too scared to even leave it inside her house.

He played with different scenarios in his head but all of them are leading to him feeling too ashamed of himself to even show his face.

Baekhyun stirred beside him and stretched. She gave him a scan before assessing how far they are from the mansion. “Are you ready?”

Jongin shook his head. “I don’t even know if I would ever be,” he murmured under his breath.

“Jongin,” Sehun called, his voice sounded monotonous. “I don’t know what happened and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you have a valid reason,” he flicked his gaze.on the rearview mirror. “But just so you know, I can’t guarantee your head if Yifan and Chanyeol are there.”

It all made sense to Jongin then. Yifan has probably recognized him by his scent. That has explained the fatal glares that he had received from the blonde vampire. He could be one of Kyungsoo’s friend who knew of his stupidity.

“I… I get it,” Jongin hung his head. “I just want to at least see them, even just once.”

Luhan had finally caught on and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t you want us to go in first and check if you can see them?”

He shook his head and looked at her with a sorry excuse for a reassuring smile. “I think I’ve hidden long enough. I think it’s time for me to face them, no matter what happens after.”

Sehun parked his car in their garage. Jongin felt a weight lifted off his back when the space was void of the pick-up truck that Chanyeol was driving. His life might’ve gotten extended for a few more days, unless they come home in a few hours.

They paused by the porch, the ladies were looking at him warily while Sehun’s eyes were burning with curiosity. He had known the guy since he has moved and having his deeply hidden secret revealed might have shaken his trust.

Sehun has kept a secret from him too but Jongin’s was a lot more complicated.

It waa Junmyeon who opened the door even before they knocked. “Having CCTVs around is quite useful,” he winked at them before they were led inside.

Frantic giggles and squeals echoed through the foyer. Jongin has lost the ability to breathe when he followed where the sound came from. In the living room sat a woman whose back was turned on them hunched over something.

Jongin would know that back among thousands of others.

Her arms were moving slightly and with every move, a giggle followed. Tiny legs were kicking in the air as an effect of the tickle attack.

“Jongsoo,” Junmyeon cooed. “Look who came to see you!”

The woman gathered the giggling bunch from the soft mat he was laying on and Jongin saw her every move in slow motion. The way she got up on her feet and spun on her heel to face her son’s visitors. She held the blabbering baby boy facing them as she watched her own son’s reaction to his to-be babysitters.

“Say hi to them, baby,” she said, taking one little fist and raised it for a wave.

The way that their eyes met was reflexive. The moment Kyungsoo faced their guests, Jongin sensed something in him click, like a joint that needed to be popped back, like a cap put back to seal in the taste, like a missing puzzle piece found and put in place.

“Oh, look, darling. I didn’t know your father would show up,” she spat with full of spite. “I didn’t even expect him to show up _ever_.”

Her blue irises started glowing but instead of the attack that Jongin have expected, Kyungsoo’s lovely eyes reddened at the rim followed by a trail of unending tears. Junmyeon immediately rushed to the sobbing vampire and led her towards another hallway hidden under the staircase.

Jongin could only do nothing but stare at Kyungsoo’s back as she disappeared from his sight. But before she was completely gone, Jongsoo managed to look back. Jongin caught his gaze and, by the name of all that’s holy, his son smiled at him as if there wasn’t anything wrong. Jongsoo’s lips curled up into a heart-shaped smile that he definitely got from his mother as his eyes crinkled like how Jongin does in pictures.

He fell down on his knees and wept without any care for the world. His head was replaying how beautiful his son was and reminding him that he was part of what he has left behind, of what he has lost.

 

 

Jongin has made up his mind. Even though he said that just seeing Kyungsoo and Jongsoo once would be okay for him, it wasn’t. He needed to at least apologize to Kyungsoo and hold his son for a few minutes. He might sound greedy but he needs that. He needed to give Kyungsoo a proper explanation. Jongin wouldn’t ask for her to take him back but just let him introduce himself formally to his son. He owes him an apology, too.

Baekhyun and Luhan listened to his version of the story and he understood when Baekhyun went ballistic on him. He was wrong, he knew it. He just realized it a bit too late.

“You fucking dumbass! That girl wouldn’t cry over you if she didn’t return your feelings, you piece of shit! She told you _things_ , she cooked for you and she bothered to wake your dead body every day just so you could go to work! She’s practically doing wife duties for you and you dumped her?! What were you thinking?!” Baekhyun had her hands on her hips, full scolding mode on.

“Didn’t you know anything about vampires? Did you even search shit about them? Because if you did, you would know that for a vampire to offer such arrangement with a human meant that they are trusting your fickle, doubting ass! That says a lot for them because they are used to living in covens, with their fellow vampires. So for them to go out there and take a human and pamper them is something fucking big! You say that you love her but do you really?”

Her words grounded him and made him realize even more how badly he screwed up. Even Luhan was scowling at him wordlessly, judging him for his extremely unwise decisions.

Sehun, on the other hand, didn’t say anything and kept his face blank. Baekhyun continued her tirade while Jongin took each word and engraved it inside his head. He deserved this. He deserved to get shut out from the lives of his son and Kyungsoo but he needs that one last chance for closure.

They wouldn’t need to drag his useless ass anyway in case they might have to flee again. He wouldn’t be able to protect them from those people who wanted to capture them. They are better off with people who could do something for them.

He asked for his friends’ help and made a promise that it would be the last time that he will ever bother Kyungsoo and Jongsoo. After Baekhyun’s threats, she agreed, knowing that closure is important, after all. Luhan looked at Sehun to gauge his reaction. Jongin waited for him as well. He knew that Sehun knew a lot more than he lets on and he’s staying with Kyungsoo under the same roof. He could trust his judgement, no matter who will he favor more with it.

“If this were up to Yifan and Chanyeol, you would already be dead, Jongin,” if Sehun aimed to scare Jongin away, he failed. “They treat Kyungsoo as their sister and no one messes with a coven that old and powerful. They may have asked for help on Kyungsoo’s situation but that was because they didn’t want unnecessary animosity that would have stemmed from vampires.”

“I’m calling Junmyeon now to see if we could talk to Kyungsoo noona today.”

He may not understand fully what Sehun said but letting him see Kyungsoo for his plan was all that matters.

 

 

Sweaty palms were what Jongin brought with him as he knocked on the door of supposedly Kyungsoo’s room. Sehun has just taken Jongsoo to give them a little privacy after Kyungsoo agreed explicitly to Jongin’s request.

A soft invitation to come in prompted him to twist the door knob and push the door open. Once again, Kyungsoo’s back was what greeted him when he saw her standing by the window across the canopied bed. She was wearing a simple denim skinny jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. She remained unmoving though Jongin knows that she knew he was already inside.

He shuffled his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. There wasn’t anywhere to sit but the made bed but he didn’t want to exhaust his welcome. He has things to say and he should be able to tell them before Kyungsoo drives him away.

“Soo, I’m sorry.”

He expected the quietude as a reply but it still stung. Where was the ever smiley Kyungsoo who was always responding to Jongin’s words? Did he see the last of her too?

“I left because I wanted to save myself from the pain that my overthinking has anticipated for me. I left because I doubted you. I left because I didn’t trust myself to be enough for you. I left because I thought you deserve so much better.”

There was still on response so Jongin grabbed that chance to let it all out.

“I love you and I should’ve told you instead of deciding for the both of us. I never knew how much I meant to you because I didn’t even ask. I have refused to see the things you do for me as they are and downplayed them as extra acts of kindness in return for the arrangement that we had. I was selfish and it brought us here.”

“I’ve even lost the chance to prove myself to you because I assumed that you wouldn’t care. You did, I felt that you did and I know that you did. Looking back, you’ve always cared. At the very least, you cared for me and that would’ve been enough.”

“But I wanted more. I wanted so much more from you and that was unfair. I wanted us to stay together forever but only you could see forever through while I rot away. I wanted us to build a family of our own but I didn’t know it was possible. I wanted to impose all of these on you but I shouldn’t. Now I realized it was misplaced thoughtfulness.”

Jongin took a deep breath. His voice started shaking as his tears started to stain his cheeks. He let them be, he didn’t need to act tough when he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you because of my selfish desires and that I’ve left you with a responsibility that we were supposed to share. And I’m sorry because it is outside of power to help you. I’m sorry that I showed how much I love you the wrong way, thinking that I’ve set you free when in reality, I’ve pushed you away.”

When Kyungsoo faced him, she looked indifferent and unaffected. A nagging voice at the back of his head was yelling ‘I told you so!’ when it proved that Kyungsoo thought nothing of his confession. It was a mere means to an end.

Even though he has long accepted that he had this coming for him, it didn’t make it any less painful.

“Sehun told me you wanted to meet Jongsoo. Go ahead.”

“T-thank you, Kyungsoo” Jongin couldn’t help but bow. They’ve turned into complete strangers and Kyungsoo is doing him a big favor. _This is really it_.

“For what it’s worth, there was never a day that I haven’t thought of you, Soo. Of what could’ve been if I took a different path. And never, since the day that I left, have my feelings swayed, as much as I tried. I would probably stay like this for a long time, if not for my whole lifetime. So if you have a need for me, for Jongsoo, for anything, just let me know.”

With heavy steps, he brought himself out of the room and headed towards where his son was. He prayed hard that he would be able to reach him before breaking down.

 

 

Jongin found his son playing in the living room, surrounded by two noisy humans and a bored-looking vampire. They all turned to him as he entered the room, shooting him sympathetic looks. Jongsoo must’ve been confused when the fussing around him stopped so he tilted his head and looked in the direction that his playmates were looking.

And there it was, another blinding smile that only succeeded in making Jongin cry again.

He half-ran towards Jongsoo and knelt down in front of him, testing the waters. His friends gave way for him so he could have the first and last private time with his son. When the kid showed no signs of objection for his presence, his father braved the remaining distance between them.

Jongin held him up gently by his armpits and laid him on his lap. Jongsoo gurgled happily, aimlessly slapping his hands about. For the first time in a long time, Jongin found himself laughing as he felt his wet cheeks get hit by little palms. He leaned down to press a kiss on top of his son’s head, feeling more tears flooding his eyes.

“Hello, Jongsoo. I’m Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you, my son.”

It felt surreal, having his own blood and flesh in his grasp and looking up at him with wonder. He trailed his eyes to every curve and nook of Jongsoo’s face to commit it to memory. He slipped his phone out and took a couple of pictures, to which Jongsoo were all smiling.

“Do you know that I’m your daddy?” he asked. Jongsoo blabbered some more, amusing his father to no end. He is an active and happy baby, Jongin couldn’t have asked for more.

Does he eat human baby food or does he have a blood diet? What time does he take his naps? Where does he sleep? What things could help him sleep or get his attention? Have he said his first word? Has he started walking? Would he even remember him?

So many questions that Jongin doesn’t have an answer to. He should know this things but as it was, Jongin was left to wonder about his son for the rest of his life.

The little boy squirmed and tried to crawl down Jongin’s legs. He went straight to the pile of toys that he was playing with before and turned his attention to them. Just like that, Jongin was pushed aside.

Nothing was left in Jongin’s heart yet he tried to give its last shattered pieces to his son in the form of kisses and a firm hug. Jongsoo stayed pliant in his father’s hold, only to have droopy eyes when Jongin leaned back.

His time was up.

“I… can I bring him to his crib?”

 

 

The makeshift nursery was the room right beside Kyungsoo’s. The walls were painted light blue and green with toys on every corner. Jongin walked to the crib and slowly lowered his son onto his bed. The small walk from the living room to the nursery was enough time for Jongsoo to fall asleep.

It was such a short time but it has been the best minutes of Jongin’s life.

He chuckled when Jongsoo’s thumb went straight to his mouth. Low suckling sounds filled the room and as much as he didn’t want to leave, Jongin had to. He has a promise to keep.

A cold yet somehow warm press on his back had him closing his eyes. A pair of milky arms snaked around him and pulled him closer. Sniffles were muffled by his shirt that was getting wet with something that were most probably tears.

No one said anything. Jongin stayed put, afraid that if he moved a muscle, everything will fade into a dream. The hold on him tightened bit by bit but the sniffling has calmed down.

The urge to touch was so strong that Jongin gave in eventually, holding onto the arms crossed over his torso. He slid his hands down and gently pried the hold open just so he could slot his fingers into the spaces of the other’s.

“Jongin, don’t leave us. Not again, please.”

Jongin heard the words clearly though muffled by his shirt. They rang in his ears pleasantly and those words gave him strength. Those words were enough to delude himself that he could do anything, _anything_ , just to keep his family right by his side.

His next words were a promise. A promise that he vows to keep forever, however long it may be.

“Never. Never again.”


End file.
